#32 - Find and Remove Useless/Bad Habits
Fixing this leads to more impactful collaboration
The Why:
Useless habits. Bad habits.
We all have them. From the annoying ones, to the full blown addictions.
I’ve been on a personal quest to make improvements in this part of my being. One of the bad habits I have identified, and would like to share with you is my usage of filler words, and non-words.
Filler words are like, um, so, like, yeah… you know what I mean? And, the all dreaded… ‘it is what it is’, which is Tik Tok speak for, well, nothing.
These are words which serve no purpose, other than to buy us time because we don’t know what we’re saying, or to demonstrate to others that we don’t really know what we are taking about. Or, perhaps that we are uncertain in our foundations.
These must be removed, and I am making it my personal mission to do this (from my own vocab - feel free to play at home on this one!)
The How:
I have been undertaking a course by Vinh Giang on communication. Prior to this I was in a Toastmasters group, so this has somewhat been at the forefront of my thinking.
I plan, and am in the process of doing this, by keeping conscious, and by only focussing on one trait at a time.
Firstly, ums…
This can be eradicated with the introduction of pauses when we speak. If we watch videos from the 60s, people used to speak with more consideration. They used to pause.
When we pause, we allow time for the other person to consider what we are saying, which provides a means for stronger communication.
Once the ‘ums’ are removed, we can start to focus on the like, your know, it is what it is. This is also through pausing and slowing down.
One exercise you can do is to speak and record yourself for 5 minutes, then you can transcribe the audio. With a highlighter you can mark the filler words and non-words to see how you are faring.
Don’t be too hard on yourself if you attempt this. It can take time to undo societal and systematic bad habits. You will also start to focus on other speakers and listen closely to how they present. There are some fantastic ones out there!
Lesson Learnt:
This takes time. It won’t happen overnight
It takes energy
One day you’ll just start to notice that your speaking with more clarity
Status:
I’m enjoying this one. Very rewarding
I like the feeling of having greater control of my communication